I'm never getting over this!

Navigating Through the Pain

Loss is an inevitable part of life that can bring about the worst pains or, surprisingly, the greatest reliefs. It triggers a range of emotions such as guilt, hurt, anger, and resentment. No one can dictate how we should feel or cope with loss. Lose is a deeply personal journey that we must navigate through feeling very alone most times, with our own thoughts as our guide. Loss can manifest in various forms, including the loss of loved ones, relationships, jobs, and dreams. What's most intriguing is how our identity can become intertwined with our losses and how we interpret those loses will have the greatest impact on our lives.

Personal Reflections on Loss

I have faced my share of significant losses. I lost my daughter at a young age, a pain that most will tell you no parent should ever have to endure, but that doesn’t help the pain. I also lost my first marriage, a challenging and difficult time in my life but really for the best now that I look back. Additionally, I lost the job I had planned to retire from, a sudden change that forced me to reevaluate my career path, again knowing what I know now and seeing where it has lead me was again for the best. Like many of you, I lost my childhood early due to the weight of responsibility and expectations, a loss that shaped my early years profoundly. I could list more losses, but what truly matters is not what I have lost but how I have chosen to move past these challenges. As my husband often says, it's about finding a way through, over, or around the obstacles life throws at us. Life demands that we push on, that we keep moving forward, and that we refuse to become stagnant.

You Are Not Your Losses

Someone very dear to me recently went through a lose, this person lost a relationship they had been fostering and working at. As my dear one set on the floor crying I set next to her. Wanting to take that pain away, wanting to have that magic pill, but of course there is nothing that I have found that instantly heals a broken heart. As I set there though listening, asking questions, trying to help, I came to a realization. She was sitting there in this miserable situation and it was a rough situation, talking her way through it feeling the emotions that were right and correct for her to feel and later she would have some options. She could choose to remember nothing but the pain and become bitter over the way she was mistreated or she could remember there were people that she went to. People that set with her, people that hugged her, people that loved her, and she could remember what good things came out of the situation. We all have those chooses after a bad or rough situation.

One thing is for sure thought it's crucial to recognize that you are not defined by your losses. While they are a part of your story, they do not dictate your entire narrative you are made up of so much more than the loses. Losses can teach us valuable lessons, shaping our resilience and strength, but they should not become the sole lens through which we view ourselves. Some people define themselves by their loses and come to think they aren’t good enough, they aren’t loveable, they aren’t this that or the other things. It's important to acknowledge the pain and grief that accompany loss, it is probably one of the most important things you should do is to acknowledge the pain and emotions. But, it's equally important to look beyond it. By doing so, we can grow, learn, and emerge from our experiences with a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. it’s not healthy for us to get stuck in that deep pain it can many times have devastating consequences for us and our lives.

What we tell ourselves after lose

What we tell ourselves is always important but after a lose what we tell ourselves becomes that much more important. We are raw and hurt we need to remember to tell ourselves good things. When we talk to ourselves we need to be kind and compassionate like we would with our best friend as we help them through a lose. Create a good environment for your healing. Creating a good environment for yourself by having beneficial self-talk at the forefront will help you heal and move through the lose easier than if you beat yourself up the entire time you are attempting to heal and move forward.

Some ways to foster your Healing

Encourage yourself, you are the only one that can possibly know what it is that you need. Spend some time talking to yourself and figuring that out. Maybe you need to go and do something, be busy for a little while or maybe you need a break from being busy. Maybe you need to set with the emotions for a bit or maybe you have set with them to long and need to put them aside for a while and feel another emotion.

It’s okay to feel that guilt, hurt, anger, or relief it is all part of the process but sometimes we set in those feelings for longer than we should and we forget to be present in our lives in the current moment. We set in those feelings to long and stop experiencing all the good we have right now. Sometimes we need a break from those feelings, we need to laugh so find something to make you laugh. Direct your thoughts to something you care about. I know sometimes it’s hard after a major lose to find joy in anything but try! Push yourself to laugh, make yourself laugh if you must it might be fake but it can work for you.

Concentrate on someone else besides yourself. Go find someone you can help. We must treat ourselves with kindness after a lose but most times stepping away from ourselves and our feeling to help another person can be all the healing we need. When helping others it can actually increase dopamine and serotonin in our brains which is a great way to get a boost especially when we ourselves are feeling a little lost, hurt, or sad. Not to mention being around others can really help after any lose. Sometimes helping others solve their problems with situations you have already faced gives you a since of purpose.

Moving Forward with Hope and Resilience

Loss can be a catalyst for change it always brings out some kind of change. Life is a never ending, changing, growing experience that we must learn to navigate. Life, loss, and change push’s us out of our comfort zones and into new territories. It can lead to personal growth, new opportunities, and unexpected blessings. The key is to allow ourselves to feel the pain, process the loss, and then take steps to rebuild and redefine our lives and sometimes who we are as a person. This process is not easy, and it requires courage, patience, and self-compassion. But, by embracing our losses as part of our journey, rather than as our entire identity, we can find meaning, purpose, and ultimately, healing.

In the end, our losses do not define us. They are chapters in our story sometimes those chapters are longer and sometimes short but by no means are they our entire book. We have the power to pick up our pin and write the next chapter, to shape our future and maneuver it where we want to go, and to determine who we become and how we push forward. By recognizing this, we can move forward with hope, resilience, and the knowledge that our losses, while significant, are not the sum total of who we are and do not completely define us, we define us as we see fit because we are in control.